Knight of Darkness Read online

  He wanted to lie to her, but she’d been told enough of those in her life. He wouldn’t add himself to her list of betrayers. “I don’t know. But somehow I will keep you from it.”

  Merewyn’s throat tightened at his vow. But she knew better than to trust in it. His mother was ruthless, and she wouldn’t stop until Varian was her slave, and Merewyn was even more hideous than she’d been before.

  She’d told him to have faith, but right now even she was finding it hard to hold on to it.

  “Merewyn?”

  She stiffened at the sound of Blaise’s voice.

  “Varian?”

  Their interlude was over.

  “We’re coming,” Varian shouted. Somehow he manifested a small cloth and handed it to her. “Give us a minute.”

  She quickly used it to clean herself before Varian helped her to dress. She paused as she looked down to see her hands, which suddenly had a dull, grayish cast to them.

  Varian covered them with his. “Don’t think about it.”

  How could she not? “Do you think Merlin can help? Maybe he can counter her spell.”

  His eyes were troubled before he shook his head. “One sorcerer can never undo another one’s spell. You can alter it somewhat, but never eliminate it.”

  “Alter it how?”

  “Make you an ugly duckling or mare.”

  “Could he not at least take away some of my deformity?”

  “No. If he tried, it’d only make it worse. It could even kill you.”

  From where she stood, that wasn’t such a bad thing. She would rather be dead than to return to her old life.

  Varian pulled his breeches and boots back on. It took them both a second to remember that his jerkin had been left on the trail. As they went to search for it, they found Blaise holding it with a curious look on his brow.

  “I thought you were blind,” Varian snapped as he snatched it away from the mandrake.

  “You don’t cover up that heinous body of yours soon, I will lose what little sight I have.”

  Varian grimaced at him before he pulled it on over his head and laced the front.

  “Should I ask what you two were doing?”

  Varian gave her a sideways glance before he answered. “Not if you want to continue breathing.”

  “Very well then.” Blaise turned toward her and froze. His features turned completely blank.

  Merewyn knew that look all too well. It was the same one Blaise had always worn around her in the past. One of careful emptiness to keep from offending her. “I’m back, aren’t I?”

  “No,” Varian said quietly. “It’s not as bad right now.”

  Not as bad. Was that supposed to comfort her? Unable to bear the thought, she pulled his cloak around her and raised the cowl so that no one would be able to see her now.

  I will get my beauty back.

  I will.

  Varian gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “Come, Merewyn.”

  “You lead,” she said to them. “I wish to hang back a bit.”

  Blaise frowned. “You sure?”

  “Yes. Please.” To her relief, they did as she asked, and with every step she took, she hated herself more and more.

  “Merewyn?”

  She hesitated as she heard Narishka’s voice in her head. She glanced to Varian and Blaise, but neither of them seemed aware of it.

  “Are you there, hag?”

  Merewyn ground her teeth in bitter anger. “Go away.”

  She heard laughter in her head. “So you are there. Tell me how you like the new look of yourself?”

  “Leave me alone.”

  “I could do that. But if I go, you’ll be stuck like this forever.”

  In spite of her common sense, which begged her to insult Narishka, she couldn’t stop the sudden flutter of hope in her breast.

  “I can return your beauty to you.”

  “At what price?”

  “You know the price. Return my son to me.”

  Merewyn’s heart thundered in panic as she watched Varian bantering with Blaise.

  “I can’t.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  Before she could answer, she felt a brutal pain lance through her leg. One that almost caused her to fall. Gasping at the effort of staying on her feet, she realized that her hump was back…as was her bad leg.

  But even worse than that, one of her arms started to curl in toward her chest, useless.

  “No,” she choked under her breath as she hobbled forward.

  Varian turned around at the sound of her voice. A look of abject horror filled his eyes before he blanked his expression. He moved toward her. “Merewyn…”

  She recoiled from him. “Don’t touch me. Don’t look at me.”

  He glanced to Blaise, who now stared at her with the same guarded look. It tore her heart asunder to see that. It was worse than the curled lips of others because she had seen them look at her like a person.

  Now they pitied her.

  “You can be beautiful again. Say the word, Merewyn, and you will be what you were.”

  She looked up at Varian, who still held himself in check, and in that instant, she made her decision.

  Chapter 15

  Varian wanted to comfort her so badly that he could honestly taste it, but Merewyn would have none of it. Every time he tried to close the distance between them, she moved away.

  Her features contorted by pain, she railed at him. Even so, he knew her anger wasn’t for him so much as it was for what his mother had done to her. “Don’t touch me while I know I sicken you.”

  “No, Merewyn,” he said, trying to make her understand the truth, “you don’t.” He tried to touch her only to have her wrest herself away from him.

  Still, doubt was painted plainly on her distorted features. “How dumb do you think I am that I can’t tell the difference in your eyes when you look at me? I see your pity and your disgust. You can’t even hide it.”

  Varian wanted to curse at her for her stubborn blind interpretation of feelings he didn’t have. Okay fine, so she didn’t exactly set his hormones on fire in this condition. He still wanted to hold her. To soothe her. No matter how she looked on the outside, there was no denying that he cared for her. And he’d given his word that he would keep her safe.

  “You don’t sicken me.” That was the truth.

  “Stop lying to me.”

  Varian tried to cup her face, but she slapped his hand away. He actually hissed from the pain of it. She was incredibly strong in this form. His hand stinging, he looked at Blaise, hoping he would have a suggestion as to what he should say or do to ease her.

  Blaise merely shrugged as Merewyn stomped her way toward the path where the brothers and Beau still waited for them.

  Varian sighed as he watched her limping gait. How could he make her understand that he didn’t care about her looks? That wasn’t what had allowed her into his circle. He honestly wasn’t sure what part of her had wormed its way into his heart. All he knew was that her pain hurt him, too. That even in this distorted form, he still saw her as she really was…an extremely beautiful woman whose looks were incidental to him.

  But there was no way she’d ever believe that.

  Was there?

  Varian quickened his steps so that he could pull her to a stop. Her face bore her torment and pain.

  He couldn’t leave her like this. “Tell me something, Merewyn? If I were suddenly to lose my looks, would I sicken you?”

  She scowled at him. “What?”

  Varian indicated his body with a wave of his arm. “The scars I bear all over me. Do they sicken you? Do you find them repugnant? If I were to take a sword stroke to my face that left me with one eye missing and a disfiguring gash, would you never want to look at me again?”

  She wiped her bulging lips with the back of her hand to remove the excessive moisture. Then she indicated her face in the same manner he’d indicated his body. “This is a bit more extreme than that, don’t you think?”
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  “No, I don’t,” he said, his voice thick with the weight of his sincerity. “You are still what you were before this. You are what you are, no matter how you look.”

  Merewyn felt the tears in her eyes as they welled up and blurred her vision, but she refused to cry. She wouldn’t give Narishka that satisfaction.

  She wanted to believe Varian’s words. Desperately. Yet how could she? Men loved with their eyes. She knew that. And in this form, there was no hope for her to appeal to him. Ever. “If I were to make myself naked for you now, would you take me?”

  He didn’t hesitate with his answer. “Yes.”

  She curled her lip at the lie he spoke. “But you wouldn’t desire me.”

  He caught her arm as she started away. Those green eyes actually bit into her as they snapped with fury. “Listen to me, Merewyn. Listen well. I’m not going to lie to you. This form doesn’t exactly inspire me to throw you down on the ground and screw you until we’re both blind from it. But you don’t repel me in any manner.” He took her hand in his and led it to his cock, where he was starting to bulge once more. “Even though I just had you, I could take you again.”

  He wasn’t lying about that. She could feel him harden even more as he held her hand against him. It was inconceivable to her.

  “It’s you who attracts me, Merewyn. Not your body or your looks.”

  A tear slid down her cheek as she walked herself into his arms. He encircled her with his strength as she tucked her head beneath his chin while he held her close. She felt so safe here. So wanted. Never once in her life had she ever experienced anything like this. Anything like him. His warmth invaded her. He was so much more than she’d ever dreamed of.

  How could anyone have ever been cruel to a man so kind?

  She buried her face against his neck and just inhaled the scent of his skin before she lifted one hand to bury it deep in his dark hair. He looked down at her with a clear, open gaze before he tilted his head down toward hers.

  She held her breath, wondering if he’d really be able to meet her kiss…and just as their lips would have met, she heard someone approaching.

  Varian pulled back from her to see who it was.

  Frustrated, she looked past him to find Merrick and Derrick frozen before them.

  Derrick screwed his face up in disgust as he looked at her. “Oh. My. God. What is that?”

  Merrick’s face showed his own repugnance. “Did a kobold eat Merewyn?”

  Even Beau was hesitant to approach her.

  Her heart shattering, she tore herself away from Varian with a cry of dismay.

  “Merewyn!” Varian snapped as he went after her. “Don’t listen to them.”

  But how could she not? They only spoke the truth. She was hideous. Hideous! Unable to bear the truth of it, she turned from him and ran back into the woods, where she almost collided with Blaise. The mandrake caught her against his chest to keep her from stumbling. Her tears blinding her, she twisted out of his grip, to continue her mad trek through the trees.

  With no destination in mind, she only wanted to escape the pain she felt inside. She wanted to get away from the men who looked at her as if she were too lowly to breathe their air.

  Varian ran after Merewyn. He was afraid of what she might do in this state. Honestly, he could kill the brothers for their idiocy. How could they have insulted her so? Then again, they weren’t exactly rocket scientists.

  He could hear Merewyn’s sobs as she ran, and they tore through him with resounding pain. To be so deformed, she was amazingly swift. Lowering his head, he quickened his steps until he was able to overtake her. Even though she tried to outmaneuver him, he scooped her up in his arms and turned her to face him.

  In that instant he gaped at her face.

  She was beautiful again. Perfect.

  And that terrified him. “What happened?”

  She stopped struggling against him and looked down at herself, at her hands. Her features aghast, she lifted her hands to cup her face where her skin was once more smooth and supple. “W-w-what? What’s going on?”

  Varian’s eyes narrowed at his mother’s cruelty. “My mother’s playing with you.”

  Merewyn sucked her breath in sharply. “That bitch! How dare she.”

  He blinked at her raw and unexpected language. “Are you all right?”

  She turned on him with blazing eyes. “What do you think? How dare she toy with me after all she’s put me through.” She turned around and scanned the forest as if seeking his mother’s presence. “I hate you, you evil troll. I wish you’d choke and die on your own venom.”

  Well, she was certainly creative in this mood. “You do realize that would only amuse her if she could hear you?”

  She looked at him with such anger that he actually took a step back. “Don’t you dare make light of this.”

  “I’m not, believe me.”

  Curling her lip at him, she started past him, only to pause as she stared into the forest.

  Varian looked to see Blaise there, watching them with a frown. “Is something wrong?”

  “I’m just wondering why Narishka is playing with Merewyn like this.”

  That answer was simple enough. “Because she’s sick.”

  “Evil,” Merewyn added. “To the center of her being.”

  He certainly couldn’t argue that. Narishka might be his mother, but he wasn’t blind to her faults.

  Blaise let out a long breath. “Man, V, you definitely didn’t come from choice genetic stock, did you?”

  “Not really.” He glanced to Merewyn, whose face still bore her fury. “Don’t worry. We’ll get her in the end.”

  She scoffed. “No, we won’t. You know it as well as I do. She’s been around since the beginning of time, spreading her malice and ruining people’s lives. What makes you think for one minute that either of us will ever live to see her fall?”

  Again, she had a good point. There was only one answer to her question. “Faith?”

  “You’re not funny.”

  He wasn’t trying to be.

  His heart heavy, Varian held his hand out to her. “Come. Let’s be on our way.”

  Reluctantly, she took his hand in hers and allowed him to lead her back to the brothers and Beau, who were extremely grateful she’d returned to her more attractive form.

  None of them spoke as they continued their journey. It was as if a pall clung to them, sealing out any chance for joy or laughter. Varian wanted to cheer Merewyn, but he couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t depress her more.

  She was right. His mother had survived for untold centuries, and it would take more than their small band to destroy her. Hell, they’d be lucky just to survive this. So how could he ever cheer her?

  Unable to find an answer, he walked stoically by her side.

  It was high noon before the brothers stopped walking.

  Varian braced himself for an attack. But that wasn’t what held their attention.

  It was the sight of a young, beautiful woman, waiting in a small clearing. Dressed in a shimmering green-and-gold gown that plunged so far down her torso it barely covered her breasts, she was exquisite. Her hair was a deep auburn that fell in waves of curls from a gold diadem that was laced with delicate gold chains that framed her delicate features.

  There was something extremely familiar about her, but Varian couldn’t place it.

  She crossed her arms at their approach and narrowed a pair of deep green, fey eyes at them. “You made it, I see.”

  The sound of her dulcet voice went through him like a lance. The fey are no worse to betray their own than anyone else, boy. Just wait. One day you’ll see…

  He remembered well that voice saying those words to him when he was just a child. But it was a voice he’d never thought to hear again. “Nimue?”

  Her gaze softened as it reached him. “Varian. Beloved nephew, how are you?”

  Confused as hell. But then what else was new? “Since when am I ever beloved?”
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  The crooked smile on her face was geared to charm him, but it didn’t work. He didn’t dare trust her or anyone else.

  “Why do you think I had Merlin spare you from Sagremor?”

  “Boredom.”

  She laughed. “Hardly. You are my blood, Varian. The last that I have who still breathes. It’s good to see you again.”

  Even so, he was suspicious. Nimue had originally been the Merlin for Arthur’s Excalibur and one of his grandmother’s five sisters. Born of the fey, they’d been the six who held dominion over all of the water Sylphs—hence their moniker of du Lac.

  Though the sisters had been united against the world, their fights against each other had been legendary. It was a great fault of the Sylphs that they were all possessed of explosive tempers.

  Unable to stand the fighting while pregnant, his grandmother had returned to the land of fey, Landvætyria, to have his father and raise Lancelot there. She’d brought Lancelot to Arthur’s court on Lancelot’s eighteenth birthday, and she had held him close to her breast until the day the knight Balin had vengefully beheaded her. That action had caused her sisters to curse Balin and his brother Balan to die by each other’s hands.

  Then the sisters had turned their attention to Morgen, the source of Balin’s anger, who had systematically eliminated each one of them…

  Nimue had been the last one standing. It was why she, along with Emrys Penmerlin, had tried to imprison Morgen here.

  They had vanished just before Arthur himself had confronted Morgen. There had been countless speculations as to what had happened. But no matter what version one heard, it all came back to the fact that Morgen had turned the tables on them.

  Varian narrowed his gaze at his great-aunt who actually looked even younger than he. “I thought you were trapped in ice underneath Camelot.”

  “Apparently not,” she said sarcastically. “But make no mistake, I was in ice for a time. Thanks to Emrys and his hormones. We were supposed to trap Morgen here instead. Unfortunately, you men are stupid when a woman is naked, and he spilled his thoughtless guts to one of her spies before we could implement our plans. To get back at us, Morgen imprisoned us. Now, I’m trapped here”—she gestured to the forest around her—“with him for all eternity.” She sighed irritably. “Sucks really.”