Born In Sin Page 22

  "You have guilt?" she asked, wondering at the source of it.

  He sighed wearily and looked around them as if afraid someone might overhear. "More than you can fathom. I lead my clan and yet I know Sin is firstborn. I have no right to my father's legacy. Everything I have is his by right and by blood. Yet he refuses to take anything from me."

  "Why did your father disown him?"

  She amended her list to another thing the brothers shared. An angry tic started in Lochlan's jaw that reminded her much of Sin's.

  When he spoke, his words wrung her heart. "In order to be disowned, you must first be recognized as a son. Sin never was. Ewan and Braden were too small to see what Kieran and I did. Our parents lavished the world on us, while Sin was delegated to a corner to watch. I hated any holiday where gifts were exchanged. We were given so much, while he received nothing at all. I remember one Christmas in particular when I felt so badly for him that I tried to split my gifts with him. He refused, saying that if they had meant for him to have gifts, they would have given him some. He told me I could keep all my gifts and most especially my pity."

  "I don't understand why he was treated like that."

  Lochlan shook his head. "In truth, neither do I. Believe it or not, my mother is a good woman who loves her sons completely. But she couldn't bear the sight of Sin. My father loved her beyond all reason, and so he refused to act as if he bore any favoritism to Sin at all. He went out of his way to prove to her that he didn't love Sin's mother and that Sin meant nothing to him as well. As a result, Sin was shunned. I can't recall a single time my father ever said his name or looked directly at him."

  Her heart ached for her husband.

  "Our birthdays were always marked by gifts and celebrations. And yet no one, not even Sin, knows what day he was born. All we know is he's a few months older than I am, but we don't know how many."

  Callie struggled to breathe at what Lochlan was telling her. She couldn't imagine not knowing her own birthday.

  Suddenly another thought occurred to her. "And his name? Where did it come from?"

  "My mother gave it to him. When Braden was born and baptized, Sin wanted to know why no one had ever called him anything other than lad. He asked my father what his Christian name was and my father walked away in silence, shamedfaced at the fact no one had ever bothered to name Sin or have him baptized. So, my mother spoke up. She said if he wanted a name so much, then he should be named accordingly."

  Callie saw the raw agony in his heart as he spoke his next words in a low tone. "My mother said he was conceived in sin, born in sin and that he would die that way. Therefore the only name to give him would be Sin."

  Lochlan's eyes turned dull. "I shall never forget the stricken look on his face. Then he threw his shoulders back and told her, fine. Sin it would be. The priest claims people love sin, he said proudly. Maybe if I am Sin, someone will love me, too."

  Callie closed her eyes at the horror of it. How she regretted her harsh words to Sin. She should never have lost patience with him. He'd known enough heartache to last a million lifetimes.

  "Lochlan, do you think a man can change?"

  "I don't know, Callie. I just don't know."

  Taking a deep breath, she said good-bye to him and made her way to her room. She had plans to make. Plans that included seducing her lost, wayward husband. And this time he would have no escape from her.

  * * *

  Chapter 14

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  It was long after midnight before Sin ventured toward his bed. Callie was sound asleep, curled on her side.

  He stood there for quite some time, staring at her features, which were highlighted by the firelight. She was so breathtaking in her slumber. Nothing would give him greater pleasure than pulling the blankets back and joining her in bed. Gathering her in his arms and making love to her until the sun was high.

  The taste and feel of her was branded into his soul, and he wondered if he would ever have the courage to leave her when the time came.

  What would it be like to spend the rest of his life with her? To have laughter and love…

  He closed his eyes. It wasn't for him. He'd learned long ago to hope for nothing except a comfortable bed of his own and a good meal. Those things he could possess.

  Having Callie in his life would be like trying to contain the wind. She was beyond his reach. Far beyond it.

  You could have her.

  Nay, he could not. If he betrayed Henry for her, Henry would kill him and attack her clan. And if he betrayed Callie for Henry, she would hate him for killing her brother. Either way, he was damned.

  Either way, he would lose her.

  How could he choose between the two people to whom he owed the most? Henry, who had given him back his life, and Callie, who had given him back his soul.

  God, how he wanted to hold her and just forget about his duties. Forget about the man he'd been. Have her soothe him in the way only she could.

  The pain and fear inside him was so raw. So jagged.

  Shaking his head to dispel the thought of her hating him, he made his way to the hearth. Weary and soul-sick, he lay down on the cold floor and forced himself to go to sleep.

  Callie woke up a few hours after sunup to find her bed empty. Tears filled her eyes as she realized her husband had never come to her.

  She wondered where he'd spent the night until she rolled over and saw him alone on the floor. A nasty burst of anger tore through her. She narrowed her gaze on him.

  Why would he have done such a thing?

  Suddenly aggravated beyond reason, she was seized by a childish impulse. Normally she would squelch it, but as she sat there, she realized one of the problems with her husband was that he'd been too stern and serious in his life.

  A little taste of childish antics would do him good. Aye, she'd love to see the man who had been chased by his brothers into her barn. Sin needed many more such moments.

  Before she could stop herself, she lobbed a pillow at his head.

  Sin came awake instantly. His heart pounding, he rolled over with a dagger in his fist to confront his attacker. To his complete shock, he saw his wife approaching him with another pillow in her hand.

  Sheathing his dagger, he relaxed, until she hit him with her pillow.

  "What are you doing?"

  She answered him with another smack. "I gave you a weapon; defend yourself, knave, or surrender."

  Sin grabbed the pillow she'd tossed from the floor where it had landed and came to his feet. He fought her back as she beat him with the pillow and giggled.

  In spite of himself, he laughed with her. She was so wonderfully beautiful in the morning light, with her coppery hair tousled, her cheeks rosy and her bare feet peeking out from beneath the hem of her white linen kirtle. Her smiles and laughter took his breath away.

  He backed her toward the wall as feathers began to fly about the room. Just when he was sure he had her cornered, she dropped her pillow and ran at him.

  Unprepared for her movement, he stumbled back three full steps. She ran her hands up and down his ribs, tickling him unmercifully. Sin laughed, dropping the pillow and wrapping his arms around her to stop her.

  "Do you surrender to me?"

  "Never," he taunted.

  Fire glowed in her eyes. "Never? We shall have to see about that."

  Sin picked her up and tossed her gently to the bed. He grinned triumphantly, then turned his back.

  She launched herself from the bed and wrapped herself around his waist, piggyback-style.

  Sin was laughing even harder as the door to their room opened.

  They both froze to see her maid standing in the doorway, her eyes bulging at the sight of Sin wearing nothing but his breeches while Callie was draped over his back with her shapely legs bare and wrapped around his waist. Feathers were still hanging in the air, and unless he missed his guess, both of them had feathers in their hair.

  Braden glanced into the room as he walked past in the hal
lway. Then he returned to stand behind the maid and eye them curiously. "Should I ask?"

  Callie buried her head against Sin's neck and howled with laughter. Trying to look casual and normal, Sin shifted his weight and cleared his throat. "You see something unusual about a man waking with his wife?"

  Braden exchanged a puzzled frown with the maid.

  "I'll be back later," the maid whispered, backing out of the room and shutting the door.

  Callie slid slowly down his back. But she didn't release him. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed his bare shoulder blade. "Good morning, Sin." The cheer in her voice astounded him.

  Sin glanced at her over his shoulder. "Shall I ask now what brought on the pillow madness?"

  "I was angry with you."

  "For what?"

  "Sleeping on the floor again. What is it with you and the floor? Most women have to fear their husbands are in the bed of another. Me, 'tis the hearth I envy."

  Callie saw the wave of seriousness descend over his face. She narrowed her gaze at him. "Don't you dare."

  "Dare what?"

  "Turn those serious eyes on me, Sin… or else I'll bash you with my pillow again."

  An astonished look replaced the sternness. "You've gone daft on me, haven't you?"

  "Not daft. But definitely in the mood to do harm to you if need be. I am proclaiming this Fun Day. There will be no earnestness today. No moodiness or brooding."

  Sin stared at her in disbelief. "You're serious, aren't you?"

  "Quite. For every stern look I see, I shall punish you for it."

  He arched his brow at that. "Punish me how?"

  "In ways you've never been punished before. With pranks and tricks guaranteed to make you want to strangle me."

  He smiled in spite of himself.

  "See? It's easy to smile and make merry."

  How he wished he could do as she asked. Spending the day with her would be wonderful indeed. But he had duties to attend. "I have a rebel to find."

  "Then you can look until you go blind from it, but you'll enjoy this search or else I shall tickle you until you beg me for mercy."

  The woman was insane. And yet he liked it. She reached up and brushed feathers out of his hair. "My first rule of business today is to make you wear something other than your armor."

  "I won't wear a plaid."

  "Fine, then, no plaid. But you've other clothes. I have seen them in the trunk."

  True, he did own a pair of cloth breeches and a civilian tunic. But he couldn't recall a single time he'd worn them.

  He had no idea why he was even considering her request, except for the strange realization that making her happy mattered to him. It shouldn't, but it did. And it was such a small request… how could he deny it?

  "Very well, milady, no armor for today."

  The pleased look on her face sent a raw stab of desire straight to his groin. The woman was truly beautiful. "There will be a quiet picnic for us at noon out in the meadow behind the castle."

  He opened his mouth to protest, but she placed her hand over his lips. "No arguments. For this day, you will be mine and I will show you around the village. Look for your rebels if you must, but I intend to show you the other side of life."

  "What other side of life?"

  "The one worth living."

  His eyes turned dull at the bitter reminder of his past. He had seen that side many times in his life and had no wish to see any more of it. "I have seen it, milady."

  "Aye, but today you will live it."

  This was complete and utter madness. And yet he couldn't find it within himself to turn her away.

  She rose up on tiptoe until they were eye to eye. He saw her desire for him, and a tender emotion that made no sense to him whatsoever.

  "Just give me this one day, Sin, and I will ask no more of you."

  By her face, he saw how important this was to her. For whatever reason she wanted to do this, he would humor her. "Very well. You have this day when I shall try to be a nonbrooding, happy"—he cringed at the word—"man. Come the morrow, I return to being an ogre."

  "I'll accept that so long as you agree to be mine completely today."

  "Agreed."

  Smiling, she kissed him lightly on the lips.

  Sin growled at the satiny feel of her lips on his. Before he could stop himself, he crushed her to him and opened her mouth with his to taste the heaven of her tongue. She ran her hands over his naked back, her nails gently scraping his flesh.

  Oh, but this woman felt incredible in his arms. So warm. So giving.

  Closing his eyes, he lifted the hem of her kirtle until he could touch the bare skin of her hips, her back. Dear Lord, how he craved her.

  "Make love to me, Sin," she whispered against his lips.

  Her passion-laden words tore through him. But his reason still reigned supreme. "What if I leave you pregnant?"

  She cupped his face in her hands and stared up at him with earnest eyes that scorched him. "Then I will love our child. Whether you stay or not, I shall keep our baby safe and make sure no one ever harms him. He will be as dear to me as his father is."

  He felt his resistance slipping.

  She returned to kissing him and trailed a hand down the front of his body, over the planes of his chest and stomach. Then she reached into the waistband of his breeches, her fingers brushing gently against his lower abdomen, until she could take him into her hand.

  Sin hissed in pleasure as his thoughts scattered. His emotions raw, he reacted on primal impulse. Unable to wait another instant for her, he tore her kirtle from her and carried her to the bed, where he lay her down to devour her.

  Callie stared up at him, knowing she had won this battle, and something inside told her it was an important victory.

  She shivered as he left her only long enough to remove his breeches.

  He returned hurriedly and gathered her into his arms, where he kissed her so furiously that it took her breath. This wasn't the same tender lover who had been so slow and easy with her before. He was like a beast possessed. One who couldn't get enough of her taste.

  He trailed his hands over her body, making her shiver at how strong they were and yet so gentle. His hands had the power to destroy life, but with her they only gave pleasure.

  Callie moaned as he dipped his head down and took her breast into his mouth. His tongue gently lapped at her hardened nipple, sending waves of ecstasy through her. She cupped his head to her, holding him close as her body burned for him.

  "I love the way you taste," he breathed, running his tongue from her breast to her neck. "So warm and soft."

  She trembled at his words, knowing he'd said them only to her. How she wished she knew of some magic to keep him with her, to make sure he never left her side again.

  He kissed his way from her neck to her ear. She shuddered as he ran his tongue over the curve of it, then darted his tongue inside.

  "I love the way you touch me," she whispered. "The way you feel on top of me. And I wish I could keep you here like this forever."

  Sin pulled back as her words pierced his heart. How cruel, that they should want the same thing while fate conspired against them. He needed this woman in a way that made no sense.

  He stared down at her face, which was framed by her curls. He'd never thought to see such heartfelt welcome on a woman's face. With her, he was home, and he trembled at the weight of his tangled emotions. At the need to hold her, protect her and the need to run away from the fear inside him.

  How could he hurt her? Ever?

  She reached up and laid her tender hand against his unshaven cheek. That touch scorched him and turned him inside out. There would never be another person in his life who would mean as much to him as she did in this moment.

  Needing her in a way that shook him to his soul, he slid himself inside the warm heaven of her body.

  Callie moaned at the feel of him deep inside her. The feel of his strength as he rocked himself between he
r thighs. He captured her lips with his and kissed her passionately, his tongue matching every stroke of his body.

  She ran her hands over the hard planes of his back and felt his muscles rippling in time to his movements.

  Suddenly he thrust himself deep inside, then stopped. He pulled back and braced himself on his arms so that he could look down at her. She laid her hands against his taut biceps and watched him watch her.

  There was such a needful, hungry look in his eyes that it made her ache.

  Slowly, he ran his gaze from her face, then down to her bare breasts and stomach, all the way to where they were joined. "You are beautiful," he said, his voice ragged.

  She smiled as he dipped his head to kiss her again while he still held himself above her.

  Sin closed his eyes and inhaled her sweet scent. Oh, the sexual things he wanted to do with and to this woman.

  "Is something wrong?" she asked innocently.

  "How could anything be wrong while I have you in my arms?"

  Callie didn't know which of them was most surprised by that confession. Love for him flooded her heart. Smiling up at him, she wrapped her legs around his lean waist and brought him into her even deeper than before.

  She kissed his lips as she used her body to give him pleasure. He shivered in her arms until he growled. His eyes hot, he lowered himself on top of her and took over the rhythm of their passion.

  Callie kissed him furiously as she buried her hands in his hair and moaned at how delicious he felt on and inside her. She loved feeling him like this. Knowing he was all hers.

  He made love to her fast, driving her up to a height she'd never felt before, and just when she was sure she could rise no higher, he pushed her up and beyond. To a level of pleasure so fierce it made her cry out.

  She held him close as she felt him shuddering in her arms. He pulled back to stare down at her.

  She smiled up at him. "See how much fun you've already had on Fun Day, my lord?" She wrinkled her nose at him impishly. "And to think we have yet to leave our room."

  Sin laughed at her humor. "It does make me wonder how milady could ever improve this day."