Born In Sin Read online

  "Their plot was overheard by someone I trust."

  Sin was stunned by her words. In the whole of his life, no one had ever defended him. He was so used to being cast out and left to his own ends that her actions baffled him.

  Now her sudden appearance in the throne room made sense. "Is this why you came here?"

  She nodded. "I wanted to forewarn you."

  He stood in complete disbelief.

  Henry narrowed his eyes on Roger. "A witness to your plot, Roger. What say you now?"

  "There was another conspirator as well," Callie said.

  Henry looked to Sin.

  "Aye," Sin concurred reluctantly, "Thomas of Wallingford. He ran off."

  Henry sent his guard in search of the man. His eyes cold, he looked to Roger and instructed his other guard. "Send him to the tower. We shall deal with him later."

  Once the three of them were alone, the king approached Callie with one arched brow. "By your actions, may we assume you will abide by your marriage?"

  "Might I speak alone with Lord Sin on the matter, Majesty?"

  Henry focused a suspicious stare on her, but ultimately allowed them to leave his presence.

  Sin led her from the throne room and down the hall to a set of stairs. They walked along in silence until Sin took her to a courtyard behind the keep.

  The small area was surrounded by gray stone walls that were covered in ivy and honeysuckle. It was a peaceful afternoon, with nary a sound to intrude on them.

  Callie watched him stand proudly before her, his dark hair falling becomingly over his face. Lord Sin was a dangerously handsome man. One who could devastate a woman with nothing more than a simple smile. She couldn't help wondering what it would be like to be held by him. To taste those lips on hers.

  She shouldn't be having such thoughts of him, and yet she couldn't quite stop herself.

  He clasped his hands behind his back and eyed her a bit impatiently. "Well?"

  Callie sorted through her jumbled emotions as best she could. "May I be honest with you?"

  "I certainly prefer it to dishonesty."

  She smiled at that. He was such an odd man.

  "I…" She paused as she searched her mind for the best way to broach her concerns.

  "You… ?"

  She fidgeted with the sleeve of her gown. She knew so little of this man that she wasn't sure what to say.

  Finally she lifted her chin and did what she did best. She blurted it out. "You and your king have asked me to bind myself eternally to you. To entrust my life and my people into your hands. I wanted you to know that I take my oaths very seriously. And if we are to do this, then I wish to spend a little time getting to know you."

  Sin opened his mouth to tell her of his plan to find the Raider and leave her in peace, then paused.

  She would never agree to his going home with her to hand one of her people over to Henry, or worse, kill him. If she had any intention of doing that, the rebel leader would already be on his way to London.

  Nay, he would have to let her think he was agreeable to this match. "Very well," he said. "How do you suggest we get to know one another before the morrow?"

  "Will you dine with me this evening? Here. Just the two of us?"

  He arched a brow at that. "Us alone?"

  "And Aelfa, of course. But no one else."

  It was a strange request she made. Yet he could see no harm in humoring her. "What time?"

  "Vespers?"

  He nodded. "I shall see you then."

  Callie watched him leave her. For the first time, she noticed the way he walked. Like a stalking lion waiting for a predator to jump out at him.

  He was a fierce man, this knight. Fierce and lonely.

  And soon to be her husband.

  Swallowing at the thought, she went to make preparations for the night.

  Sin was alone in his room, sitting at his desk, when he heard a knock at the door. "Enter."

  He half expected it to be Caledonia, so when Simon entered, it surprised him.

  "What brings you here?" Sin asked as Simon closed the door and leaned against it.

  "I was wondering when we'd be leaving for Scotland. I wanted to send word to Draven. I thought we could stop in for a short visit, since Ravenswood is on the way."

  Sin let out a slow breath. "I truly appreciate your offer, Simon, but I have no intention of taking you with me."

  "You need someone to go with you."

  "I need no one. I assure you, I will be fine."

  Simon crossed his arms over his chest as he eyed Sin speculatively. "Do you remember what you said to me the first night you came to Ravenswood?"

  "Nay. I barely recall that night."

  "I asked you if you were afraid of being so far from your family. You said that you had no family. That you belonged nowhere and to no one. Do you remember it now?"

  Sin shrugged. "Vaguely."

  "Well, it seems to me the man before me is still that nine-year-old boy who stood defiantly before Harold. You still have one shoulder braced to take a blow while your hand is curled into a fist to strike back."

  Pain assailed Sin as unwanted memories rushed through him. He'd spent the better part of his life trying to forget the very things Simon wanted him to remember, and the last thing he wanted was to dredge up such horrors.

  "Simon, is there a point to this?"

  "Aye, there is. When Draven and I tried to befriend you, you would say nothing to us. You drew into yourself even worse than Draven did. He at least kept himself open to me. But you… you refused all comfort."

  Sin held his silence. He had never refused comfort. It was simply forbidden to him. Every time Harold had caught him speaking to Draven or Simon, he had been punished for it. Harold had despised him with a passionate zeal. Older than both Draven and Simon, Sin had never had a protector.

  Sin had always been alone. There had never been a choice in the matter.

  "I want to go with you, Sin. Haven't you spent enough of your life with nothing but enemies at your back?"

  Sin sighed. "You know you don't owe me for what I did."

  "I know that. It's not why I want to go."

  Sin frowned at that. He would never understand Simon's mind. "Then why? Why would you want to spend a week's time journeying to a land where they will despise you?"

  "Because they tell me a friend of mine is going there alone."

  Sin shook his head. Simon was a strange man. Inside, he knew Simon had no business going along. The man had no idea what they were in for. But Sin did.

  He was used to it. But Simon… Simon was a fool to want to do this.

  "Well?" Simon prompted.

  "We leave day after tomorrow."

  Simon nodded. "Good. I shall send my squire home to his parents until I return." Simon pushed himself away from the door. He had a devilish gleam in his eyes. "I will return, won't I?"

  "Only if you learn not to annoy me. Otherwise I might just feed you to the Scots myself."

  Laughing, Simon opened the door. "By the way, I learned from the lady's maid that her favorite color is green."

  "Why are you telling me this?"

  "Just thought you might want to know. I'll be around if you need me."

  Sin leaned back in his chair as he thought about everything Simon had said.

  It was a cold place, his world. He spent his days tending whatever matters Henry needed and his nights alone in his room listening for the next attack.

  He wondered why today that bothered him when it never had before. He'd merely accepted it as fact.

  It must have been the time he'd spent journeying with Maggie and Braden, he decided. He'd grown soft in their company. Grown used to people who saw him as something other than a monster.

  He swallowed as his thoughts turned to Caledonia and her angelic, unassuming face.

  Tonight he wouldn't be alone. Tonight he would be with a beguiling woman who possessed brave, friendly eyes and a sharp wit.

  For the first
time in his life, he looked forward to the sun setting.

  Callie smoothed the front of her dress with her hands. Vespers had come and passed with no word of Lord Sin.

  She was more nervous than she should be and a little irritated that perhaps he had forgotten.

  "Should I go look for him, milady?" Aelfa offered.

  Before she could respond, she saw Lord Sin approach in the gathering shadows.

  Her breath caught in her throat. Still dressed all in black, he cut a striking figure. Freshly shaved, he wore his hair brushed back from his face and it warmed her that he had taken time to freshen his appearance for her.

  She smiled at him.

  "Forgive me for being late, milady," he said, giving her a courtly bow. "It took longer in town than I thought it would."

  A chill went down her spine as he lifted her hand and placed a gallant kiss on the back of her knuckles.

  "You're quite forgiven," she said, noting the breathlessness of her voice.

  What was it about this man that made her so hot, and yet cold as well? So shivery, yet warm?

  His answering smile made her weak in the knees. He was so close to her now, she could smell the fresh, clean scent of him. Feel the heat of his body warm hers. His strength and power overwhelmed her senses.

  With a mental shake, she redirected her thoughts away from how much she would love to kiss this man and feel his arms around her. "I hope you enjoy what I brought." She indicated the platters on the blanket she had spread on the ground. "We tried to find someone who knew what you preferred to eat, but no one seemed to be able to suggest anything that wasn't frightening."

  "Mmm," he said. "Let me guess. I like to drink the blood of innocents, feast on the entrails of knights and eat the hearts of small children everywhere."

  "Aye, that was much the consensus."

  A strange light came into his midnight-black eyes as he looked away from her. "Well, I hope you didn't go to such trouble to feed me. I fear 'tis off season for good blood, and knights can be rather testy when you disembowel them."

  It amazed her that he could joke about it. What she had learned this afternoon made her heart ache. Out of all the hundreds in this castle, no one knew anything about the man before her. Not even the king.

  Henry couldn't tell her what Sin enjoyed doing, what songs he preferred, what activities he liked, not even his favorite color.

  Not even Simon knew.

  "I'm afraid to disappoint you," she said with a wistful sigh as she continued to tease him, "but all we have is roasted pheasant, stewed apples and leeks with onion sauce and wine. But if you prefer the other…"

  He smiled at her. "How is it you understand my humor when no one else does?"

  "I have no idea except to say that my brother is a bit morbid as well. He rather revels in it at times."

  "You think I'm morbid?"

  "Aren't you? You dress in black and like to frighten people. Isn't that the very definition of the word?"

  "I suppose."

  Callie set him down upon the blanket and poured them wine. She glanced over his left shoulder to see Aelfa motioning to her that she would be on the other side of the wall should she need her. Nodding at the maid, Callie handed Lord Sin a cup. "So tell me, other than being morbid, what else do you prefer to do?"

  Sin shrugged. "I ride a great deal."

  "And?"

  "That's it."

  Callie wrinkled her nose as she regarded him. "It's a very short list."

  "Unlike yours. I'll wager your list is long. Infinite, probably."

  He was teasing her and she enjoyed it a great deal. For the first time, she realized he was a different man around her. He never teased anyone else and he seemed a bit more relaxed in her presence. The thought thrilled her. "As a matter of fact, my list is quite infinite."

  "You probably enjoy dancing and singing."

  "Aye. Do you?"

  "I've never attempted either."

  "Not once?"

  He shook his head.

  "Why?"

  He took a deep drink of wine and set the cup aside. "Never had time as a youth, and as a man I never had any inclination."

  "Oh. I don't suppose you read?"

  "Nay."

  "So, what is it you do when you're home and not serving your king?"

  "I train."

  "And when you're not training?"

  "I think about training."

  "And when you're not doing that?"

  "I'm resting so that I can train when I rise."

  She grimaced at his earnestness. "Are you being honest, or are you just being irritating?"

  "I'm always honest, milady, and am told most often irritating."

  Her heart lurched at the casual way he said that. He was so accepting of the way others treated him.

  "Always honest, eh? I don't think I've ever met a man who could claim that."

  His black eyes burned into hers. "I've done many things in my life, things that I wish I'd never done, but I have never lied."

  Somehow that comforted her.

  "Tell me, Lord Sin—"

  "Sin," he said, interrupting her.

  "What?"

  "Just call me Sin. I'm not one for titles."

  "But you are an earl, are you not?" She'd heard one of the courtiers refer to him as such. The man had told her Sin had lands all over England, Normandy and Outremer.

  "I am a man, Caledonia. I'm not a title, and the only thing I wish to be master of is myself."

  It was the first time she'd heard her name from his lips. A tingle swept over her. There was something very intimate about the way he had spoken her name. "Is that why you don't show a coat of arms?"

  Sin didn't answer. "Why don't you tell me about you, milady?"

  He was a sly one, trying deftly to distract her, but she wasn't about to let him get away with such tactics. "I know all about me; 'tis you I don't know."

  "Aye, but I know nothing of you. Nothing except you are fearless."

  She rubbed her neck nervously. "Far from fearless. I have been terrified since the moment my father died." She couldn't believe those words came out of her mouth. She'd told no one of that.

  "Why?"

  "He was everything to my clan. He held them together when one half wanted to attack the English and the other half just wanted peace."

  Sin nodded as if he understood, and she felt a sudden connection with him, though why she would feel such, she couldn't imagine. "Your uncle is laird now?"

  "Aye. They wanted to elect me, but I refused. I knew such a thing would hurt my brother Dermot. He already feels very competitive with me because of our mothers. I had no wish to make it worse for him."

  Sin took a bite of pheasant. "What about your mothers would make him feel competitive?"

  "My mother was cousin to King David." Callie paused as she saw hatred flare in his eyes at the mention of the former Scottish king. "You don't like him?"

  "Let's just say the one time I met him, we did not get along."

  "But he was such a good man."

  Sin looked away.

  Callie swallowed her nervousness. Would his hatred of her cousin spill over onto her? There was no doubt that Sin had no use whatsoever for David, but she couldn't imagine why. Davey had been nothing but kind to her when she had lived at his court.

  "And Dermot and Jamie's mother?" he asked.

  "She was a very young shepherdess. I was Jamie's age when my father met her. He fell in love and married her within a month's time."

  Sin's gaze dropped to his trencher. "Do you remember your mother?"

  Callie smiled as happiness welled up inside her. It always did that when she remembered her mother.

  "Aye. She was beautiful and kind. An angel. I was only five when she died, but I remember so much of her."

  She saw the sadness in his eyes.

  "What of you? Tell me of your mother."

  "What about your stepmother?" he asked, instead of answering her question. "Was she kind to yo
u?"

  What a peculiar question; but then, given the way most people looked upon stepparents, maybe it wasn't so strange after all. "Morna is wonderful. You'll like her much, I think. She's been trying to find me a husband."

  He frowned at that. "Why haven't you married before now?"

  Callie drew in a deep breath as she thought about it. In truth, she'd always wanted to be a wife and mother. She could think of nothing better than having a home filled with children.

  "My betrothed died before we married," she whispered, "then my father died before I had a chance to look for another. Since his death, I haven't even wanted to consider it, for fear someone would use me to try and take control of the clan from my uncle."

  "Peace is important to you?"

  "Very much so. I've lost enough of my family. I've no wish to lose more."

  His black gaze searched hers and she saw the respect he felt for her. It warmed her greatly. "You're very wise, Caledonia."

  "Callie." She smiled gently. "My family and friends all call me Callie."

  Sin stared at her, unable to believe she would offer him her nickname. In that moment, he could almost let himself dream of a life with her. Of sharing endless nights like this.

  But in his heart he knew better. He wasn't the kind of man a woman like her needed.

  "Do you want children?" The question slipped out before he could stop it.

  She blushed. "Aye. I would love to have dozens of them."

  His groin tightened at the thought. At the moment, he would love to offer his services, but that was another thing he could never do.

  "And you?" she asked. "How many children do you want?"

  "None."

  "Not even a son?"

  He shook his head. "I don't want any children. Ever."

  "Why?"

  Sin clenched his teeth. He didn't want children because he refused to bring anyone so defenseless into the world. Look at her little brother. Her father was dead, and she and Jamie were left to the hands of his enemies.

  He would never take such a chance. Never allow a child of his to suffer.

  "Men like me don't father children."

  "Men like…" Her eyes grew wide and more color flooded her cheeks. She pulled away. "Forgive me, milord, I didn't realize you preferred the company of other men."

  Sin choked. "I most assuredly do not, milady. My desires are definitely toward women."